Coping with losing or not getting what we want bundle

A strong will and motivation are strengths that drive kids toward their goals, but when they can’t  get what we want or lose it can lead to tantrums, distress and whining. But we can help kids learn to cope and build capacity with these 5 steps:

1- Teach them the function of what they are feeling, for example, mistakes and failures give their brains more data to use and improve in the future. 

2- Help them identify the strengths they have that add to their drive- like determination and goal setting.

3- Help them identify and describe how it feels to lose or not get what they want- in their body and in their minds. 

4- Help them explore and identify strategies that can help them calm or repurpose the emotional energy they have when they lose or can’t get what they want- such as breathing or movement strategies.

5- Support them to practice this strategy in times when they feel ok, so that they will be proficient at using it when they become upset. 

This bundle of resources can help you to guide them through these steps and it can be used at home, in the classroom, or in the therapy room.